Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Looking at life...through my patent leather pumps

Before I was a mommy...I literally lived for shoes. I was never really a party girl, never a big drinker. Partying got expensive and quite frankly I wasnt down for losing control and messing up the shoes that I worked so hard for. My life literally revolved around my girlfriends, whoever my boyfriend was at the time and shoes. How to attain them, where to find them, what to wear with them, how my feet looked in them. I was obsessed with pedicures...mostly because, of shoes. Ugly feet can seriously ruin a pretty pair of peeptoes. I had a journal. I would write about shoes and outfits to go with them, then I would go out and hunt for them. At one point in my life, I probably had more shoes then the average girl should ever have. Obsessive Compulsive Shoe Habit. OCSH. Self diagnosed. It was an addiction. Though, many addictions, especially in the charming areas surrounding where I reside, have side effects like you know, stealing, robbing and overall yuckiness for the things they need, I simply would steal from myself. If you could guess the amounts I have paid in NSF Fees...(thats non sufficient fund fees for all you assholes that dont know, if you are one of those people, kindly click on the little x at the top of this screen) I have paid in just the past 8 years, would be shocked to know I could have a much nicer kitchen, or a good couple more years of college education on my resume.

As my life developed more meaning, my shoe collection started to fade. By fade I mean, disappear. After my first born, I started noticing my shoe collection dull. Fall would come and I wouldnt have a fun new pair of boots to tuck jeans into. Winter would come and I would put on the same water stained uggs from the year before. Then we bought our house. No more pedicures. No more fun sandals. You know the the gladiator trend? Yeah, I LOVED it from the very beginning. Did I participate? No. I didnt. I wore the same sandals from the spring and summers before. I found myself indulging in expensive nail polish as opposed to my beloved Shoes. It was cheaper, it was pretty...and at least it was something to look at down there.

It seems the more my life grew in significance, the less bright (and full) the shoe rack in my closet became.

Now with number 2 on the way, it seems the days of shoe collecting are just a faint little doop in my past.

I guess this is my way of looking at how my life has changed. If you would have told me 5 years ago that my closet would look as well, lonely as it does now...I would have probably cried. But looking at my lonely closet has simply made me realize how empty my life was BEFORE when my closet was, well...popular. Now that my life is full of SO much love, real love, not shoe love, my closet is...well empty.

This is not saying that because you dont have kids your life is empty or that because you have kids you shouldnt have nice shoes...this simply is my experience.

Now, dont get me wrong. I'm not running around barefoot only accessorizing with a screaming 2 year old and a pregnant belly. I do have some fun shoes. I just dont have lots of them. This post also doesnt mean I dont want lots of shoes. I totally still do. I really, really do. I just cant afford them like I could with my babies. But I'm not too proud to take donations. I'm a 6 1/2, 7 at Aldo.

Merry Christmas.

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