I remember the day I came back to work after having Patrick. He was 6 weeks old. I ugly face cried the entire way to work. You know, Kim Kardashian ugly face crying. I'm sitting at my desk, calling to check on him as often as possible, eyes red, on the verge of tears and my boobs are leaking. Not remotely adorable. I was a mess. Once I finally got myself together, there was about 30 minutes of quiet that I can admit, was very nice. But then, mommy instincts kicked back in and I sat and watched the clock the rest of the day. Quiet is definately over rated. I wanted my baby.
I know there are a lot of moms that gripe about being a stay at home mom. They never have time off, or sick days, or feel like a slave to there homes...but I feel like thats how ALL moms feel. Working and Stay at Home Moms. Working moms dont get off work at 5:00pm. We start our second job doing what Stay at Home Moms do all day AND we miss the best part of the day: spending quality time with our kids. Cooking dinner, cleaning the house, getting baths and doing laundry doesnt really create a lot of room for 'Quality Time' in a 4 hour time slot. I cant say how many lunch breaks I have spent running home to throw food in the crock pot and a load of laundry in the dryer just so I can have more time in the evenings to play cars with my handsome little man. No Mom's get time off. I never take sick days alone. If I'm home sick from work, chances are my baby is home with me. Right there chillin on the couch next to me. Why? The guilt. Being a working mom I steal as much time as I can with my little man because I feel guilty when I am missing out on time I can be with him.
But the money, oh the money. I could go to Aldo right now and buy a pair of $90 pumps and then stop in bebe and buy a $100 dress and Patrick would never know. It wouldnt be his business. Once our bills are paid, his money is his money and my money is my money. Now...we will be sharing money. His money. He'll be in my pockets at all time. THIS is going to be the biggest challenge I see so far. I dont know how stay at home moms do it. I have always been so independent with my money. AND now, I'm going to be leaning on him to pay the bills, buy the groceries, buy all our boys stuff AND keep me looking and feeling pretty. Thats a scary little leap of faith right there.
When reading this, I dont want stay at home moms to think that I'm saying that being a Stay at Home Mom is easier then a working mom...no, no, no. Not even in the slightest. I think being a stay at home mom is probably one of the most challenging jobs a woman can have. Or any person really...we know men couldnt do it. All I'm saying is that it's a better job. It's work that means something. It's work that feels good. That is personally meaningful to your life. You're not sitting at a desk doing something that anyone could be doing. Working for a company where once you leave they will forget about you in a year. Stay at home moms are making there houses homes and creating memories with there children that will be there forever.
AND I'm over the moon to start my new job. I cannot wait. I know it wont be easy. But it'll be amazing. And I think thats what matters.